Missed Connections #1

Hi there 🙂

We met three days ago (July 6) in San Francisco airport. I was sweating. Hard. They almost gave me a wheelchair. So much sweat.

You were the red-head with eyes as black as night. You wore a lime green shirt underneath your United Airlines uniform. I think you were wearing it ironically but it wasn’t ironic enough to be funny.

I was wearing the fishnet tank top, which allowed my chest hair to poke through. You complimented my size 6 Toms and smiled. Your teeth were gnarled and gray-ish. You smelled like you worked at a fish hatchery.

You told me that I “couldn’t board the flight” because it had taken off “14 hours ago” and that “throwing a tantrum wouldn’t bring the plane back” You offered me a 5% discount on M&M’s from the United Lounge.

I threw my neck pillow at you but you ducked. I was trying to get home to see Nana. You tried to help another customer so I poked you in the eyes, Three Stooges style.

You cried and I ran away.

Let me know if this was you!!! I’d love to meet up…maybe create a life together.